Okay, so more like, where did I go during February.

Thinking back on it, nothing interesting really happened. I applied for a couple of accounting internships and sadly didn't get any -_-' As an alternative, I'll probably take summer classes for my own personal development. And like I say every year, try to find a part-time job or something.

The big news this month though, PUPPY! Hopefully, when I go up next weekend, I'll come home with a new puppy. I spent most of today going shopping for puppy things: bed, food, treats, toys, stain remover. Words over the internet cannot describe how excited I am!

Ugh, when does the doubting ever stop?

Second semester started last week, and once again I find myself questioning what I want to do in life. Lately it seems like my brother has been trying to push me towards doing something that I love. He said that wealth doesn't mean happiness. But to me, wealth means freedom.

I don't really have a goal in life except to be comfortable and happy. I think that that's everyone's dream really, when you get down to it. It's just of course everyone is made happy and content by different things, be it fame and fortune, love and friendship, etc. ( I've never farmed, but that's what I'd get enjoyment out of )

Current Mood: contemplative

Probably not, but hopefully an improved me.

After reading previous years' resolutions, I kind of feel that it's unnecessary to post them this year as they are the same things: exercise, get a job, maintain relationships. ( same old, same old )

One thing about the new year that I'm definitely looking forward to: puppy! I contacted a breeder a while ago and the litter is due in January and can go home in March. I still miss my dog on lonely days and long for that easy companionship associated with having a pet.

Anyway, here's hoping that 2009 is a good year!

well, kinda...

Wow, this was a dead month in terms of posts, but that of course does not mean that I wasn't busy or that interesting stuff wasn't happening. Christmas was Christmas like usual, did most of my shopping online. I had to double-gift since I skipped some people's birthdays. But because I was able to get a lot of stuff on sale, I was able to give more to everyone, which makes me and everyone else happy I think.

Sometimes I wonder if my dad wishes that I was a more typical daughter with a more feminine attitude along with "daddy's little girl" complex. My parents got divorced when I was around seven. Even though I used to see my dad regularly, after a certain point, my oldest brother stepped in to fill the father-figure role. Because of that, I'm fairly certain that I have a heavy brother-complex (mixed with a psuedo father-complex).

Growing up with two older brothers and a mom who's not a typical woman, I grew up pretty tomboyishly. Juxtapose that with my dad's concept of what young women are supposed to be like a la cute Japanese girls and you get some pretty funny reactions.

When my dad came over to drop off Christmas presents, my brother showed him his pet black widow spider (don't ask). He was explaining that roughly only 5% of those bitten die. My dad said, "Let's try it on CactusDog. Here, give us your arm." To which I replied, "If I get bitten, I'm gonna suck the poison out and spit it in your eye." I didn't say it with malice, but more like an attitude of "well it only seems fair." My dad laughed and said, "Geez, how cruel!"

Yes, I'm definitely not the cutesy, doting daughter my dad might have hoped for, but I'm sure he enjoys telling these stories to the ubercute-acting female Japanese students at his language school.

Phew, I barely made it this year. I'm most proud of the 10,000 words day I had towards the end. When you think about it, 50,000 words really isn't *that* much over 30 days. But with all the other things going on in life, it can be pretty hard to stay motivated and focused. Surprisingly, depsite the midterms and group meetings, this second half of the semester wasn't as bad as the first.

I still have reservations about long stories. I know that I tend to get lazy and my writing just goes to hell. And then I get really lazy and just start writing straight dialogue. *Ugh* lol

But I had fun writing this one. I did a lot of the research work and almost all of the notes and outline back in August, so I was pretty set to just go. It's a dystopian story because I just love dystopian societies. I would never want to live in one since I already know what it's like to live with all sorts of unhindered freedoms. But maybe if I was born into such a society, maybe I wouldn't be so opposed to it...

One more week of classes filled with crazy amounts of group project stuff. Then another week of finals and then I'm free!

On a random note, I really like Korean rap. I've been listening to Epik High for the past couple of days. I just think that the language lends itself really well to the music style. Yeah I have no idea what's going on in the song, but it still sounds damn good to me. But I like Epik High in particular because of the unexpectedly melodic music they pair the raps with. And then there's sometimes female vocals which just make it better in juxtaposition to Tablo and Mithra.

Here's to one last week of the semester!

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Epik High - Breakdown

and no, I'm not talking about the show.

Okay, those midterms sucked major ass. Tax felt like it went okay, but there were so many tricky parts to it, that I don't want to get my hopes up. And then my oral midterm for Japanese sucked since I got all flustered. Financial Accounting was just so terrible I ended up turning in my exam early to just get out of there and away from the frustration. Finally the written Japanese midterm went well, but that's nothing special.

What the fuck! I swear with this 7.5 week semester shit for accounting classes, I'm going crazy. I've had...8 midterms and 2 finals plus 2 big group projects and it's only the 11th week. I still have 3 big group projects, another midterm and 3 more finals before I can be finally done with this bullshit semester.

And to top off one of the best weeks ever, and I mean ever! was that I got into a car accident. Yeah, I know!

I'm not gonna go into the details since the claim is still open (I guess), but both parties were fine and I've been assured that I wasn't at fault.

But a couple of things:
1. The other driver didn't have insurance
2. It will cost $3,000 - 4,000 to fix my car

1. Okay, seriously what the fuck for this one. It's illegal to drive without insurance in California! Now it's not that bad for me since I have really good insurance, but if you don't have insurance because you can't afford it, then maybe you shouldn't own a car...which goes along the same lines of if you know you can't pay the mortgage and utilities necessary for a home, maybe you shouldn't apply for a loan. Don't go blaming the banks that approved you. You should know better than to ask for a loan in the first place. Save up some money or seek better employment opportunities. Invest in yourself first as a person before you invest in tangible assets. What's up with people not understanding things about responsibility?

2. The appraiser said that there was no damage to my engine, which is a relief, but $4,000 for the body work, ouch! Of course, my insurance will cover it, but we still have to pay the deductible. That and I have to find a new body shop since the place we used to go to closed. And then there's also the fact that I have to trouble my mom to drive me to and pick me up from school...

Ugh, on top of everything else, I really didn't need this.

Tags: photo
Current Mood: fucking pissed

Hmm, perhaps not the best start...

So this week I happen to have 3 midterms...
Tomorrow - Tax
Wednesday - Japanese Oral
Friday - Financial Reporting & Japanese Written

Considering that we didn't cover a lot of the testable material in class thanks to an overzealous girl that would not stop asking super-specific situational questions and the fact that I have trouble with how the professor presents the material, means that this will probably be one of the harder tests...Maybe a good thing if everyone else does badly on it as well.

Because as I've come to find out since entering the accounting school, people don't wish to ace the test, they just hope that everyone does worse than them.

So yea, all this studying and a group meeting and other assignments that need to be turned in, means my word meter hasn't progressed since Sunday :( But at least it was a pretty good head start, so I don't have to worry as much about falling behind.

Also something that kind of annoys me (there are so many), is that I didn't have an oral test partner (no one signed up for the same time as me) so my partner is sensei...which is awkward imo. Maybe it's that low self-esteem that hides within my seemingly confident self, but I can't help but get the feeling that they don't like me. I'm like that shunned kid for no apparent reason...I guess it's just frustrating having these unfounded feelings of inadequacy.

Current Mood: annoyed

Here we go!

So I thought this story up in August and have been saving it for NaNoWriMo since I felt it had the potential to easily meet the 50,000 word mark. I'm not promising it'll be absolute gold or even original, but I do promise that it's me who's writing it and I'll try my best to actually write this one until the end.

Current Mood: excited

Halloween was craaaazy!

Okay, so I've probably mentioned it in previous years on Halloween, but I live in a neighborhood that sees 450+ kids from 6:30 - 8:00 pm. I'm pretty sure more show up after that, but my mom only buys 450 pieces.

This year though, my brother's ex-girlfriend, brought over a bunch of anime mini-stuff that they want to liquidate. She had maybe 1500+ little things like keychains, little figures, erasers, etc.

We were out there from 6:30 - 9:00 giving out stuff until we had to stop because we were totally tired. That and after a certain point it becomes teenagers that really should be spending Halloween at home giving out candy *ahem* or going to parties with friends instead of trying to score free candy with lame costumes.

It was interesting because as you know, the economy isn't so hot. And I've noticed that typically when times are hard, we get more trick-or-treaters, particularly adults. But there was a significantly lower amount of houses giving out candy on our street and in the neighborhood in general (since my brother did a little foot patrol). Almost like every other house wasn't giving out candy...

Initially we gave candy and the toys, one each to a person. And it was the younger children from families in the neighborhood mostly. It was kind of slow then. But when we ran out of candy around 7:30, we just gave the toy portion. And most of the people were older (like middle school age) from dare I say lower income homes. Some people were excited, others were like, "Whea da candy at?" And other people sounded upset that we gave them something other than candy.

*cue rant*
Who the fuck are you to go out and receive things for free from goodwilled/goodnatured people when economic times are hard and you don't have to worry about working because all you do is slack off in your public school classes, and then get upset at what we give you? Fucking grow up already and let's see if you'll be decent enough to have something to give to young children on their first Halloween experience.

My mom isn't rich. She does well enough for us, but there are things other than candy that would be money well spent. But part of the reason why she chose to live on the street that we do was because of all the trick-or-treaters. She loves to give out candy. So it just pisses me off when these jackasses that are really too old to be trick-or-treating and totally lack any imagination and effort in terms of costumes, come to get candy and then complain or try to negotiate.


On another note, here's to the beginning of NaNoWriMo. Hopefully this year is as successful if not more so than last year. Of course, given that I'm totally swamped this semester and had absolutely nothing to do last year, I'm wondering just how possible 50,000 words is...

Current Mood: exhausted

It's a pretty scary thing.

I was walking to class on Friday and I noticed a pillbug/rollie-pollie walking away from the grass and travelling further onto the sidewalk. For the briefest moment, I really wanted to step on it...I don't know why or what I thought that would achieve. Maybe put it out of its misery? Satisfy some sort of sadistic need?

Luckily I stopped myself before I stepped on it. But it was scary that I could feel that way for no apparent reason. That I would want to inflict harm on some helpless thing that would achieve nothing for either party involved.

It's kind of scary because I have these flashes every now and then. Where I think very seriously about doing something malicious for no apparent reason. I think it's mostly that I can't figure out why I feel that way or have the need to do it.

Maybe I watched too much Law & Order or something, but there's a fear that I'm a borderline sociopath/psychopath or something. But is it the same if I wouldn't gain any pleasure from it?

Pretty scary to not know this about yourself, at least in my opinion since I feel that I know myself pretty well.

Current Mood: shocked